Times, they are a changin'

This morning, I was taking 14 year old Big E to school and having him summarize the scene of Romeo and Juliet he had to read for his English assignment. As he was finishing talking, we heard the “Dear Aspen” segment come on the radio station, http://www.1057thexrocks.com/. The question was something about a guy wanting to play with his girlfriend's “pooper” and wanting to know if he should ask permission or just give it a go. Aspen’s advice was to NOT ask permission, “just give it a little tickle”, and if she doesn’t seem to protest, it is OK to proceed. I felt compelled to disagree. I mean, I guess this might be OK advice for two adults who have been together awhile and have made it clear they are comfortable experimenting and know they will be open and honest about their likes and dislikes. But in general, I think it is best to get clear permission before touching any private areas of someone else’s body. I think this is especially good advice if you are directing it to the radio listening public, which may include teens or preteens. (That may be the target demographic for this station.)

So, not knowing if he had even listened to the segment, when it was over, I said, “I disagree.”

Big E- “About what?”

Me- “About her response to that question.”

Big E- Silence

Me- “Did you hear the question?”

Big E- “No”

Me – (willing to drop it, but worried that he DID hear the question but was too shy to say so) “Well, the guy was wanting to know if he should ask a woman’s permission before touching her anus.”

Big E- weird laugh

Me- “You definitely should ask permission.”

Big E- weird laugh

Me- (pulling up to the school)- “So, have a great day, honey!”

Happy Thanksgiving, Anniversary

For the past eight years, we have hosted our family thanksgiving dinner at our house. We have had anywhere from 20- 35 people over. It is always a great time, but it is a lot of work and a lot of money to host such a large gathering. Grandma usually takes sole responsibility for preparing the turkey downstairs. I usually do the side dishes upstairs. This year with her cognitive impairment, and the basement still being a wreck, it would not work to have grandma do the turkey. Besides being a vegetarian and not willing to prepare meat, I could not lift the turkey even if I was willing. I think Husband could do it, but in thinking of all the cleaning and shopping and work involved, I decided not to host this year. I feel a little guilty and will miss the connecting with my relatives whom I don’t get to see very often. But I feel like I need to take care of myself and take a break this year. By Christmas, I hope to feel up to having a full house of food and family again.

We decided to go to our church Thanksgiving potluck. The church provides turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes and everyone brings side dishes. I am going to bring twice baked sweet potatoes, which are more savory than sweet. http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Twice-Baked-Sweet-Potatoes-With-Ricotta-Cheese/Detail.aspx I made these last week with a little less sage than the recipe called for and everyone here liked them a lot. I also had planned on making an agar agar fruit juice gel. I like agar agar, and it is so good for you. I have taken this to potlucks and dinner gatherings before and it doesn’t seem to be a wildly popular dish. I think I am still going to bring it, but jazz it up a bit, maybe take inspiration from a rainbow jello mold. I want to try to make it pretty and tasty. So this might take a few hours tonight.

Oh, and it is my anniversary today. Wedding anniversary, seventeen years. I still do not know if we are going to do anything. I would like to go eat at my work, but am really broke. If I did go there, I’d like to get a nice, overpriced bottle of wine and of course dessert. It would add up to more money than we should spend right now. My only other idea is to go to Sonic, which I really enjoy. Or go to the strip club, which we also enjoy, but also is expensive. I will see if Husband has any great romantic ideas (which can’t include sex because I am still under post-op no sex orders). Otherwise I am picturing eating a Super Sonic breakfast burrito, no meat, maybe having a couple of drinks at strip club, and spending a few hours making agar agar mold (that sounds gross, since in biology classes, they use agar to grow mold).

Well, I wanted to get writing again. I hope everyone is having a great holiday with good food, friends, and family. I am thankful for these things in my life, and for my loving husband who has put up with me for these seventeen years.

Recovering

Even though I was not looking forward to having surgery, I was kind of looking forward to the week off work. I was picturing relaxing and doing leisurely activities, while getting some things done that I enjoy, but sometimes feel I don’t have time to do. I bought two heads of organic cabbage to make sauerkraut and looked up recipes for homemade biscuits. I was going to read a couple books and have time to write lots of blog posts, maybe about making sauerkraut, drinking absinthe, and reading books. I am now realizing that maybe there is a reason they tell you to take a week off of work. I am sore and exhausted. My mind is too groggy to read a book, let alone post about it; and I don’t think I can bend down or lift the cabbage out of the vegetable drawer, let alone shred it up and beat it down into sauerkraut.

Surgery knocked me on my ass. And I have been sitting there since. One nice thing, though, has been receiving notes of care and concern from people at my church. I don’t actually attend church very often and many new people don’t even know who I am, but I posted a note to our message board, saying I was having surgery, and requesting people think healing thoughts for me. This is kind of like requesting prayer, except that many people at my non-dogmatic church do not pray (myself included). It was very heartwarming that about thirty people responded to me, sending me well wishes, and in some cases, actual prayers.

I really like the idea of being open about my wants and needs and feeling free to make requests from people whom I know care about me. This actually gives them the opportunity to give to me. This is part of the philosophy of Non-Violent Communication, http://www.cnvc.org/nvc.htm , which I am studying and trying to incorporate into my life. I do not have the mental strength to go into details about it right now, but it may be a common theme in my posts. I hope so. I almost feel sheepish about saying it, because sometimes I do not act consistently with this philosophy, but it is something I strive towards.

My brain and body are tired so I am off to rest.