I have received some strange texts lately. Last week, someone I don't know texted me, "Tmorrow is where red day. Tell all ur friends to where red." A few days ago, the same person texted me, "Where did you kick him? he's on the floor now." My friend, Jennifer, suggested I reply, "in the balls obviously, or he'd still be standing." I did not take her advice and just ignored them, assuming they'd been sent to me by mistake.
I have been receiving other crazy texts though, not by mistake, from my coworker, P. I have worked with her for about 6 years and we have never interacted socially. We are polite and I like her, but I haven't had any relationship with her outside of work. Until a few months ago.
We discovered we both enjoy walking hills and she invited me to walk with her. We have met a couple times a month to go walking and I have enjoyed doing so.
About as frequently as we have been walking, she has also been sending me text messages. Keep in mind, I have never even spoken to her on the phone, if it wasn't work related, in 6 years. These are some of the texts I have gotten from her:
Great news! I found a prostitute who charges by the inch!! Obviously, I can’t afford her, but it’s a great deal 4 u!
How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose. And after sex? Ever seen a bulldog eat mayonnaise?
Y r blk people nose so big? Cuz god stuck his 2 fingers up their nose y he was painting them blk.
Cheap mexican pregnancy test: insert burrito in vagina and remove after 30sec. If half eaten, there’s a little beaner on the way.
Im from laos. Sao in laos means miss like single and na is My middle name
The best engine ever made is a vagina. It takes any size piston, self lubricates, starts w/ 1 finger, and does its own oil change every 28 days!
It was once said that a black man would be president when pigs fly. Indeed, 100 days into Obama’s presidency, swine flu.
WTF? I assume she sends these to everyone in her phone book? Doesn't that seem strange? I barely know her, but I hope she knows me well enough to know I wouldn't appreciate the racist jokes. I don't really appreciate the political or sexual jokes either. I'm not sure how to feel or what to do. I don't get charged for incoming texts, so I guess it doesn't bother me THAT much. It just seems strange to me.
We were walking the other day and I was considering bringing it up, but wasn't sure what I was going to say. I started the conversation by telling her about the text I had received about kicking someone. She said "Oh my gosh, I did that the other day too. I had this picture of this pussy that was all burnt and blistered so I sent it to some people, and then then my phone rang and I had sent it to this woman I didn't know who told me it was really inappropriate." So I said, "well, at least it was an adult and not a kid." But in my mind, I was thinking, "*what* *the * *fuck*?" And also, apparently she does select who she sends the messages to, because I did not get the picture message (thank god). Or maybe she tried to send it to me, but sent it to the stranger lady instead.
As I write this, I just got another message. "Roses are red. Pickles are green. I love your legs and what's in between."
Trump voters and personal malaise
13 hours ago