Thursday, May 21, 2009

Warning: May Contain Offensive Content. For Immature Audiences Only

I have received some strange texts lately. Last week, someone I don't know texted me, "Tmorrow is where red day. Tell all ur friends to where red." A few days ago, the same person texted me, "Where did you kick him? he's on the floor now." My friend, Jennifer, suggested I reply, "in the balls obviously, or he'd still be standing." I did not take her advice and just ignored them, assuming they'd been sent to me by mistake.

I have been receiving other crazy texts though, not by mistake, from my coworker, P. I have worked with her for about 6 years and we have never interacted socially. We are polite and I like her, but I haven't had any relationship with her outside of work. Until a few months ago.

We discovered we both enjoy walking hills and she invited me to walk with her. We have met a couple times a month to go walking and I have enjoyed doing so.

About as frequently as we have been walking, she has also been sending me text messages. Keep in mind, I have never even spoken to her on the phone, if it wasn't work related, in 6 years. These are some of the texts I have gotten from her:

Great news! I found a prostitute who charges by the inch!! Obviously, I can’t afford her, but it’s a great deal 4 u!

How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose. And after sex? Ever seen a bulldog eat mayonnaise?

Y r blk people nose so big? Cuz god stuck his 2 fingers up their nose y he was painting them blk.

Cheap mexican pregnancy test: insert burrito in vagina and remove after 30sec. If half eaten, there’s a little beaner on the way.

Im from laos. Sao in laos means miss like single and na is My middle name

The best engine ever made is a vagina. It takes any size piston, self lubricates, starts w/ 1 finger, and does its own oil change every 28 days!

It was once said that a black man would be president when pigs fly. Indeed, 100 days into Obama’s presidency, swine flu.

WTF? I assume she sends these to everyone in her phone book? Doesn't that seem strange? I barely know her, but I hope she knows me well enough to know I wouldn't appreciate the racist jokes. I don't really appreciate the political or sexual jokes either. I'm not sure how to feel or what to do. I don't get charged for incoming texts, so I guess it doesn't bother me THAT much. It just seems strange to me.

We were walking the other day and I was considering bringing it up, but wasn't sure what I was going to say. I started the conversation by telling her about the text I had received about kicking someone. She said "Oh my gosh, I did that the other day too. I had this picture of this pussy that was all burnt and blistered so I sent it to some people, and then then my phone rang and I had sent it to this woman I didn't know who told me it was really inappropriate." So I said, "well, at least it was an adult and not a kid." But in my mind, I was thinking, "*what* *the * *fuck*?" And also, apparently she does select who she sends the messages to, because I did not get the picture message (thank god). Or maybe she tried to send it to me, but sent it to the stranger lady instead.

As I write this, I just got another message. "Roses are red. Pickles are green. I love your legs and what's in between."


Jennifer said...

OMG, that is crazy. Esp the picture part. Why would anyone find that entertaining?

G in Berlin said...

Are you serious? I would tell this woman that I find this offensive and sexual harassment. I would not walk with her, I would not cross a street with her, I would not be in her presence if possible. If she continued to communicate with me, I would report her as harassing me and providing an inappropriate work environment. How can you allow this racism and misogyny to pass? I am amazed that you are so calm: I would not be.

Rix said...


I had a student who used to forward me questionable text jokes. Finally I said "You sent me this but I don't get it." It was a racist joke and I made the kid explain to me why it was funny then I said "OOOHHHHH! I get it, it's a racist joke?!" He hasn't done it since.

Middle Aged Woman Blogging said...

Do not walk with that woman! Stay away! Far, far away! Change your number! Seriously, that woman is f**ked up!

Secret Server said...

Whoa, put down your pitchforks, people. I appreciate the concern, but I am not afraid of her and I don't feel harassed. Just annoyed with stupidity I guess and wondering how to say "I don't think these jokes are humorous; Could you take me off your contact list when you send them?"

G in Berlin said...

I guess that I find these things racist, misogynistic, and offensive. I would not allow them to be sent to me, nor would I allow this person to consider herself in any manner my friend. I am old enough to not allow the normalization of things that are wrong and I have enough sense of my own worth to ensure that I am not considered to be a tacit supporter of the beliefs behind these words. If you don't feel the same, that is your choice/

Katie said...

Oh come on! I just found a pitch fork in the garage and I have been dying to use it...

Peoria Peepers said...

I can't believe she is really sending those! When I first started reading, I thought her phone number must be texting spam somehow.
I can add this to my list of reasons why I do not enjoy text messaging!